Talking with a Student
Considering Suicide

If someone is in immediate danger, has a weapon, or is threatening violence contact 911 immediately

Although our leaders cannot, and should not, take the place of trained professional counselors or first responders, they may find themselves in an “early response” position. Students often consider suicide well before they act on those thoughts. If they inform you of this, you may have a chance to respond.

KEEP SUICIDAL PEOPLE SAFE BY POINTING OUT THE TENSION BETWEEN THE PART OF THE PERSON THAT WANTS TO LIVE AND THE PART THAT WANTS TO DIE

  • If you notice warning signs you must ask directly “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “are you thinking about killing yourself?”

  • Name Emotions: “Hopeless”, “Helpless”

    • “It sounds like you’re feeling… [name emotion]”

  • A suicide crisis is not the time to teach doctrine or correct beliefs

5 STEPS

  1. ASK: If you notice warning signs you must ask directly “Are you thinking about suicide?” or “are you thinking about killing yourself?”  (Asking will not cause someone to consider suicide, people are relieved because they actually hope someone will prevent them from acting on their plans.)

    1. If “yes” or “maybe”, ask what their reasons are for wanting to die.

    2. Summarize: “You want to die because……did I get that right?”

  2. LISTEN: 

    1. Ask, “Is there a part of you that wants to live?” “Can you tell me about that?” “Who will miss you most when you’re gone?” Or “What are your feelings about living and dying?”

    2. Summarize: “Part of you wants to die for all of those reasons we talked about earlier. But part of you wants to live because…”

    3. “Maybe there is a part of you that wants to live. Maybe that’s one reason you talked with me today”

  3. ASSESS: How often do they think about suicide? Have they attempted suicide before? Do they have a specific plan for suicide? (The more specific and detailed, the higher the risk.) Do they have access to firearms? Have they seen a counselor? Do they use alcohol or drugs?

    1. Summarize everything from steps 1-3 to clearly define nature of reality and say “Let’s review here….[summarize]….Does it sound that way to you?” “I’m worried that you might act on your thoughts of suicide. Will you let me help you stay safe?”

  4. KEEP SAFE: Develop a plan to keep them safe until a mental health professional can intervene.

    1. Ask what they can do himself or herself to maintain safety. Identify at least 2 adults including yourself that they youth can contact if thoughts of suicide become compelling. Contact your DM leadership.

    2. Provide national suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255

    3. Ask them to avoid using drugs or alcohol in the immediate future.

    4. Ask them to agree not to act on thoughts of suicide for a specific period of time. 

    5. Promise that you will contact them the following day at a specific time.

    6. ex. “How do you think we can keep you safe until this time tomorrow?”

    7. If there is a concrete suicide plan, disable as much of the plan as possible (ask youth to give you guns, meds, etc) or to their parent

  5. CONNECT TO OTHERS: Contact your DM leadership, parents, community resources, and be a part of their network for at least 6 months following the incident (this period is when they are more likely to stop mental health treatment or attempt suicide again.)

Share scripture: (Psalm 40:1-5, Psalm 42, Psalm 103:1-20, Psalm 121, 1 Timothy 4:12)

See scripture at the END

  • If they are thinking about suicide, they may have an unbearable psychological pain called a “psychache”

  • Most suicidal people tell someone about their thoughts.

  • Anyone can be at risk

  • Most youth attempt suicide at home after school

  • A suicide crisis is not the time to teach doctrine or correct beliefs

  • Identify PROTECTIVE FACTORS when risk factors cannot be changed

    • Close family bonds and friendships

    • Lack of access to firearms and other means of self-inflicted death

    • A sense of urgency and personal control

    • Confidence in solving problems

    • Frequent, vigorous participation in sports or physical activities

    • Facing and expressing difficult feelings, often through writing

    • Having responsibilities or duties to others

    • Pets

PSALM 40:1-5 NIV

“I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him. Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deeds, they would be too many to declare.”

PSALM 42 NIV

“As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?” These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng. Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me— a prayer to the God of my life. I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

This resource is compiled from “How to Prevent Suicide” in The Church Leader’s Counseling Resource Book by Rowena Fong and Cynthia Franklin